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| The lady sitting behind me shouted "Yes!" the minute Orlando Bloom made his entrance on the Duke of York's stage in David Storey's play In Celebration. I muttered under my breath, "Oh, No". A young woman a couple of rows in front whipped her mobile out and started taking pictures. The usherette hovering nearby failed to notice, although later in the second act she leant right across me and demanded a teenage girl delete pictures she'd just snapped. The previous night, Monday, I was at a preview of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamboat, starring Any Dream Will Do winner Lee Mead, at the Adolph. A manager type person came thundering down the aisle in the dress circle, trod on my foot (yeah, thanks), and told a woman to switch off her phone and cease taking photographs. In fact, there were several women whipping out digitalis to take their worthless snaps but they weren't stopped. Okay, all this comes about because of our slavish devotion to celebrities. It's what society seems to want of our culture so there's not a lot I can do about it. But I don’t have to put up with it. The behaviour of certain people who go to the theatre these days is pretty damn shocking. They talk during the show, answer their phones and take photographs with their mobiles. Last year I was interviewed by the New York Times and I got all puffed up and told them that British audiences are well behaved and would never stoop so low, as some Broadway audiences do, by talking during a performance etc. Well, it happens here now. Such behaviour is totally out of order and not fair to Mr Bloom and his co-stars, same for Lee Mead and the company of Joseph. Nor is it fair to folk who have paid a lot of money to sit in cramped seats to have to put up with stroppy fan nuts who, for the most part, could care less about what's actually unfolding on stage. In the Storey play, Orlando plays one of three sons who have been able to escape their parents mining town and make, arguably, better lives for themselves. The drama's a serious exploration of class and family values yet I heard a woman (sorry, but the main culprits here are mostly female) moan that Bloom wasn't getting his kit off. Indeed, I should alert all of you who intend to see In Celebration that Bloom keeps his kit on. He takes off his coat and a jacket, that's it. Oh, and he does put on a dressing gown. Wow! If that's your bag, seeing as much celebrity flesh as a theatre ticket will allow, then Joseph at the Adelphi is your show. Mr Mead goes topless for heaven's sake and shows plenty of flesh (although both he and Bloom are very pale, even for white guys). Some of you, okay, a handful of you, might like to know that Bloom acquits himself well at the Duke of York's, particularly the poignant scenes he does with Dearbhla Molloy who plays his stage mother. I noticed there were some signs asking people not to take photographs etc but the management at the Adelphi and the Duke of York's need to make very clear announcements at the start of the shows: No photographs, no talking and no making/answering phone calls. These messages need to be repeated at the top of the show and after the interval, it would probably be useful to put a flyer in the programmes explaining these rules in detail. Both productions open officially next week when the drama critics sit in judgement although Joseph almost critic proof thanks to that frightful Any Dream Will Do show. |